I discovered that the source of difficulty and suffering was my psycho-spiritual aspect. I want to focus on this part of my life for growth and development. I noticed when I was trying to bring my mind to stillness, it was very hard. I could not and did not want to let go of the chaotic thoughts roaming around in my head. Before I started the exercise I was quite upset about something that normally I would have thought was very petty. I went to a new hairdresser and they gave me a horrific haircut. I really thought I was going to lose it on them. Previously, if this would have happened to me, I would have blown the situation off and just told myself that my hair will grow and that I will be okay. However, this time it really upset me. I just couldn’t let it go. So I really want to be able to have better control over my emotions and thoughts. Also, if my spiritual life was flourishing like it is supposed to, I would have been able to pray about my problem and gave it over to the Lord but I didn’t; I had a pity party for myself and continued to let myself continue to be upset. I want to start recognizing when these negative thoughts and emotions arise and take hold of them and let them diminish as I release positive thoughts and emotions. I want to use breathing exercises to calm my inner and outer body and focus more on prayer as a source of peace.
Marissa,
YanıtlaSilThank you for sharing your thoughts. Yes, controlling anger is not an easy concept. I find the things I get angry about are usually issues that are out of my control. Yep, there is absolutely nothing I an do about them. This does not mean anger does not occur, actually, what usually happens now is I find that I get "hurt".
Dealing with hurt is easier for me sometimes since it is more inwardly expressed. Meditation and the words I speak to myself help me cope. Nevertheless, life hurts a lot sometimes and getting through is not easy. However, it is possible.
I pray you are able to remember breathing exercises the next time you find yourself in a similar situation. Yes, I think I should go take a "breather" right now. :)
I hope these goals you have ends up working for you. I have been saying for weeks now that these exercises have not been working because I have too much on my mind and this week I made it a point to be here by myself with no distractions and an eased mind and see what happens this week. Unfortunately this week’s exercise is about loving and I have had it out with both my girlfriend and my daughter’s mom today and not really in the loving mood. How can I practice this when I am so upset with both of them that I can’t see straight? With my daughter’s mom, she is supposed to get our daughter Wednesday at 7pm – Christmas Eve at 9pm, and then I get her from 9pm Christmas eve throughout the rest of her Christmas break. Her mom had her this weekend and my daughter got sick and had a doctor’s accuse to miss school Monday. I decided to be nice and told her that she can just miss the rest of the school week (3 days this week) and stay down there but when I call on Christmas eve (which may be a few hours earlier) I need her to drop her off at my grandpa’s. Of course she got mad and threatened to call her lawyer because the paper stated 9pm and she’s not giving up any hours (even though I’m giving her 3 extra days). Then my girlfriend got mad and said that she was going to drive separately because she was not staying until 9pm however when I get home I need to drop my daughter off at my mom’s and come spend the night with her so I will be there Christmas morning. I get on her all the time about how jealous she is of my daughter and she doesn’t see it (even though everyone else does). I am so stressed out and aggravated with both of them that this exercise is going in one ear and out the other.
YanıtlaSilMarissa,I can identify with your feelings of distress. I also feel like you are entitled to feel angry, upset, or discontent. Especially, since you paid for your haircut, you ask for what you want , and you don't receive proper attention.There is a line though and I am glad to read that you can sit yourself aside to dedicate examination of your tendencies in reaction.I am proud of you for not outbursting. I bet you anything it will turn out to be one of those cuts that you don't like to begin with but in 2 weeks it'll be the best ever!
YanıtlaSil